“The Rules” Based in Shame are a Gaslighter’s Game.

They're Playing a Game of Life.

Do you know the rules? The rules of social media, of business, of management, or parenting? The Rules of Politics and Civility and Decorum and Professionalism?

Are you clear on THE RULES of (waves hands) ALL OF THIS? Do you know the rules for existing here and now?

This may be a world YOU live in, but it’s not really your word, (unless you MAKE IT YOURS).

What do you know about this world?

The World we birthed, but didn't get to design.
The World in which we labor, but never get the credit.
The World where we speak up, sound alarm bells, or point out the obvious, and are told to “relax”–or shut up.
The World where they tweet "The Thing You ALL See is Not That Thing." And we all scream "Wait!! Do you see this shit?!"

You have to know who rules The World to play their game. The World belongs to the obscenely wealthy, white, male, middle aged, technocrats and their wannabe disciples. It belongs to self-aggrandized, self-appointed prophets and their would be acolytes. (Of course, we don't want to OWN anyone or anything. We don’t want to be put on a pedestal. We want to thrive, together. We don't play games with people's lives.)

Of course they have NO rules, and even if they did, they’d break them. Still, The Powers That Be have a plethora of Rules for the rest of us.

In Their World, we are endlessly targeted, harassed, assaulted, psychologically torture, threatened, co-opted, raped, stolen from, beat down, infantilized, condescended to, and, of course, exploited.

But—it’s important to note—following "The Rules of Their World" will NOT save a soul from any of the aforementioned harms.

No matter The Rules, if you are hurt in this World, YOU are to blame. You’ve been victimized? Here is some shame, and side of unwanted fame—Patriarchy is the name of THIS game. Be ready to play with your losing hand, as they play capriciously with your one precious life.

Those who make it past the trial by fire will be “lucky”—met with even more rules in their Brave New World Order. The ones with the least to give, will be sucked dry. Lest you think they’ll let you be when they've had their fill, a reminder that a “quantity over quality” culture is an insatiable one.

Think of The Powers That Be as a bottomless pit of consumption. The Rules are your rope, just out of reach, before falling into the abyss full of all their piled up garbage. And, when that garbage covers earth looks like a Pixar movie, they will continue to ignore us, shouting from below.

The World NEEDS our ideas to literally fucking survive, but their egos practically block out the sun. Even as they ignore us, and they make more rules to try to keep us in check, our power continues to be undeniable.

The Powers That Be have tried to render us invisible, yet all eyes are constantly on us: what we wear, how we look, what we do, create, believe, say, buy, invest in, support, and condemn. What we stand for or against, which they will twist further to exploit and harm us all.

Whether your work is in the "bedroom or board room"—of course, you’re only a worthy human if you can rise to the top in one of these two places—you will find Their World a cold and lonely place, unless you find your people. (Is this why they’re also so anxious to get to Heaven? The Powers That Be made this world a living hell—even they don’t want to exist in it.)

Most of your time will be spent attempting to follow The Rules, OR railing against them. Either way, your time is spent, by design. You cannot win or "make everyone happy." You will probably die trying, while they gaslight you to “Stop trying so hard!” and just look out for yourself. Take care of yourself, they'll say, while they remove the tools needed to do just that.

The Powers That Be are takers, after all, so they'll take your suggestions, but log them as complaints. They’ll take your attention as absolution, proof they’re worthy of said power because you cannot look away—your compliance as complicity because you knew The Rules when you started playing their game.

To "make it work" and have a chance at survival, you must review The Rules often.

Study up. Review The Rules of The Road Daily.

They change almost hourly, though lately it feels minute to minute. Are you ready? Probably not. But, let's start here...

Huddle up. Take a seat.

Don't swim after you eat.

Don't use the wrong fork.
Don't wash darks with lights.
Don't where white after Labor Day.
Don't talk about politics with coworkers.

Don't share IP without an NDA. Don't sign an NDA.
Don't use more than 5 hashtags. Don't post their names.
Don't be afraid to post every day, but don't post too much.
Don't post on LinkedIn on Saturday or Sunday, or at night.

Don't you know, no one uses it on the evenings or weekends?!
Don't be predictable. Be disruptive, unexpected, and stand out.
Don't use X, Threads, or Facebook. “Just” post where people are.
Don't forget to be consistent! Always send Newsletters on Tuesdays.

Don't get too personal, but share your truth.
Don't spell out raci$m; definitely don't call it out.
Don't fight the algorithm or self-censor. Be authentic.
Don't abbreviate. But keep it under the "right" word count.
Don't use "wht" or emojis, or you're just "flexing your allyship."
Don't you know, to spell out "white"? But don't center whiteness.
Don't tell someone what they said is raci$t, ableist, $exist, or trolling.
Don't point out misogyny. Don't point out anything. Don't point. Period.
Don't be egotistical, and be humble...but have confidence, and tell your story.
Don't show disrespect to politicians, teachers, or men. Respect their authority.

Don't cry.
Don't swear.
Don't talk fast.
Don't question.
Don't talk back.
Don't complain.
Don't frown; smile.
Don't rock the boat.
Don't be precocious.
Don't bite your nails.
Don't go to bed angry.
Don't interrupt; be patient.
Don't be loud, but speak up.
Never let them see you sweat.
Don't get upset or show anger.
Don't be violent; protest peacefully.

Don't do anything "unprofessional."
Don't wear that or you're asking for it.
Don't forget your biological clock is ticking.
Don't stay single; get married. Have 2.5 kids.
Kids will hurt your productivity. Have 2 more.
Don't ask for too much; lower your expectations.
Don't get excited. Definitely don't get so worked up.
Don't be a loser; "successful" people are up by 5 or 6am.
Don't ask for flex work. Don't forget "Remote work=bad."
Don't talk about money, but don't have a scarcity mindset.
Don't social distance or wear a mask—the pandemic is over.
Don't work from home; your productivity will be even worse.

Don't ask for accommodations or expect any special treatment.
Don't charge to much or too little. Don't give away your services.
Don't forget to pick up the kids, figure out dinner, sign all the forms.
Don't let yourself get burnout, ok? Make sure you take care of yourself.
Don't forget to book a sitter or send that email later, when you get home.
Don't rely on a man. Be independent. But, it's a NO to universal healthcare.

Don't stay up too late; get 8 hours of sleep. Go to bed at a "reasonable" time.
Don't take too much time off. People are counting on you to be a team player.
Don't expect to be happy all the time. Remember it's a marathon, not a sprint.
Don't show your personal life at the office. Pretend you are unwed and childless.
Don't do anything that might make you unhappy because the goal is to be happy.
Don't be depressed, anxious, worried, afraid. Don't feel, or think, or read, or scroll.

Definitely don't tell anyone if you are FEELING a g.d. thing. Be civil and stay calm.

Where we're going, we don't need roads.

How are you feeling now? Probably about as chill as a kid in a lockdown drill trying to follow the rule to keep quiet. Instead of trying to remain invisible, I say, refocus.

Focus on who is trying (and failing) to keep us all in line.

Do you know who made ALL of these rules? Religious zealots. Puritans. Monarchs. White men.

Do you know why we are supposed to follow them? For their benefit.

Do you know who gives a fuck? Not me...They took my last one years ago.

Yet with all these rules, we’re not safer. It seems, instead, we're very screwed; so fuck that game, and Bite me, dude.

"The Rules" are not about humanity, community, mutualism, or collectivism.
Their rules are about control, order, competition, and oppression.
Their Rules are their definition of "normal" and "typical."

They're “just” trying to "help” us fit in, they claim. I say, be abnormal, atypical, stand out. Don't comply or shrink. Instead, be a beacon and shine your light like the stars you're made of.

If these are The Rules to live by, break them, every chance you get, while you have a life left.
Make your own rulebook.
Live your life; you only get one.
Try things until you find what works for YOU. Find your why, and as much as you can, focus on that instead.

There is no one way to exist, and our existence is over in the blink of an eye.

Don't let anyone (especially a fascist, misogynist, or a racist) tell you how to be a boss, how to be a parent, a partner, a friend, a child, an artists, a lover, a philosopher, a poet, a leader, or how to be a human.

As long as you don't harm anyone else...here are some rules suggested guidelines to live by.

Create how you can.
Write when you can't.
Share what you learn.
Believe when you know.
Speak up wherever you are.
Listen to who you want, (but please seek out trusting, credible sources, and educated, caring people with a wide range of lived experience).

And of course, LOVE WHO YOU LOVE. #CareMore

I say, YOU DO YOU. 24/7/365. DO NOT play their game.

Live your life by your rules.
I'll be over here, trying to do the same.